Defies for a Dependable Listener

By Sumera Nazneen. Sumera is an admin officer at the PakTurk International School and Colleges, Quetta, Pakistan. Please read her entry and leave your comments below.

It was 11:00 am, when I was pilling up the assertion of the activity report for the given month. Abruptly, the phone rang and I picked it up while compiling my work, but, the punitive though known voice bothered me to end up everything and heed to the unceasing nitpicking query that comes from the other side.

“How can you say that the certificate is already being provided to my daughter? I have checked all my preceding records; there was not even a single statement of approval from our side for the receiving of document… I can’t believe such an imprudent act from your side; Is this how you assist others in case of the nuisance?”

“Let me explain it to you mam…”

“No need at all, I can’t tolerate this kind of negligence, I am sending my husband and he is going to deal with this matter”.

“Will you please let me explain?”

“I can’t hear you’ he primed to cope with this issue”

She disconnected the call swiftly without giving a single chance for further explanation. The rotten call was made by one of the eminent public officials about the document which was already handed over to the concerned person a while before the call was received. The query was actually resolved but she didn’t listen to the person to get the required answer, neither the listener was able to avail a second minute for the accurate illustration of the solution comes matter from the caller’s side.

This is not any story to get the attention of the valuable readers, this is something which every second person is facing due to one-sided communication. In your surrounding you will find lots of people who are desirous to be listened by others, while the desire for understanding is diminishing day by day. No matter which background they belong to and what field they are serving for…I discussed my plan with one of my friend few days back that I am intending to share my views from this platform. When I asked for her opinion, she replied hastily: “I like the way you write, see I am retorting to your question because I understand what you are discussing”, though it was not my question. Her reply was just permutation of few words which was not necessitated by me. So, of course one can’t reply unless and until the query is decoded by the mind. Here comes the confusion: people think that they are replying because they understand, while the fact is that the contribution of the sensible approach comes when the maximum involvement of the mind is acquired for responding towards the surroundings.

Having an essential demand of my job, I have attended numerous training sessions about the effective communication and polishing the skills to become an efficient communicator. There was a session in which the demonstrator was focusing upon one point: be a good listener, give your ears whenever someone seeks help or any suggestion. Being a good listener is not the only essential requirement for becoming an effective communicator. Listening with maximum understanding is the basic key point, which we are lacking nowadays.

In our surroundings there is only one factor which is controllable and evaluated: our own behavior and actions. Arguments without any logic will definitely flag the statement. People always seek for the comfortable zone where they are sure that the door which they have knocked is the right key of their confusions to be cleared.

One can become emphatic only if he/she will understand the situation. There is a chain of factors interconnected with each other to give the required response or making the conversation beneficial with required consequences.

Another approach towards this scenario is that: we understand only when we start thinking in the way things are explained or in other words maximum attention towards the other person while they are enlightening the facts. To understand first and then contribute your words when required, it’s one of the habits of the highly effective people: this is what Stephen has depicted in quiet good way in his famous piece of publication “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. No matter what field you are representing, your style of tackling the problems with maximum understanding represents your personality.

Meeting people with a list of problems and their concerns to be snooped by me is one of the firmest tasks of my job. I find it challenging but on the other hand advantageous for becoming a virtuous listener. The problem of every person is wrapped with their only expectation of maximum attention of the listener through different factors like body language, eye contact and contribution of the words whenever required. The listener should arrange set of goals, paying attention is not only about revolving the chair in 45 degree towards the speaker; it’s about rotation of mind to filch its attention from other tasks and make it prepare for the problem under discussion. People say that they can multitask and have the proficiency to  deal with  multiple  challenges at a time, but it’s not about how capable you are, it’s about how attentively you are performing the given task with your maximum efforts.

Listening with proper understanding is the only essential factor for making the communication effectual and worthwhile with required outcomes.

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