I was contemplating why this was happening, why it had to be me! I was confused. I couldn’t stop the abysmal thoughts whirling around in my head…I was too weak.
My eyes scanned the fog that blanketed the lake district mountains and then down to where light mist clung over the valleys like a limpet to a rock, it would not clear. Neither would my mind, no matter how much I breathed in the freshest of air, nor how much my family had begged me, my mind would not clear.
Would this be my end?
The famous writer lying unmoving, untouched, at the bottom of the Lemar Cliff, dead.
I wasn’t sure.
I was scared.
The wretched thought of dying caused my stomach to jostle and turn but my life was unpleasant and I knew I couldn’t go back to it, I had a one way ticket out of hell. And that was to die.
I looked down at the ground, the moss and green grass now moistened by my saturated tears. The intricate cracks like the veins running through my own skin. I took a step forward. I was going to do this, my legs began to quake until I fell to my knees, curled into a ball and I started wailing.
Why? Why did God have to make my life a misery?
I dug my hands into the soil and something overcame me like an animal was trying to split my skin open and escape. I started squirming. I clutched my chest and felt for my heart but I couldn’t feel its gradually quickening beating.
I gasped and tried to speak but only silent air came out. I tried to scream again but nothing came out. I was trapped. I started kicking, trying to inhale some oxygen but I soon grew tired and my stick- like legs stopped. As is starving myself wasn’t enough, God wanted to punish and mock me some more.
I lay there motionless, my eyes transfixed on the fog.
Goodbye cruel world, I thought, as I took my final breath before everything turned pitch black.
Wow this is very advanced writing for a 12 year old! I would be keen to read the rest of Claudia’s story.
It isn’t often your child leaves you speechless. Claudia asked for help typing this story up and entering the competition and this story blew me away. It is short and succinct and I had no idea my 12 year old could write about emotions, such as those displayed by the narrator, so eloquently.
Wow! Left me completely intrigued! I would love to know more – what happened before and what will happen next?! Please do continue wiriting this inticit story!!!!
Looking forward to her first novel…
Emotive and gripping narrative, and thought-provoking prose, well done Claudia! Your story is very impressive, and we want to read more!
Intense and thought provoking – I had no idea my 12 year old daughter could write such dark and gripping words. Very proud and just a little bit intimidated!
Impressive, I have been teaching for 20 years and this is indeed a high quality piece of writing. Sending much encouragement to Claudia to keep on producing writing of such high quality.
As a teacher of 15 years, it is an incredible pleasure (and a rarity) to read work like this from such a young student. Such a mature concept explored so sensitively is very hard to achieve and this work is fantastic. The vocabulary, structure and precision within the writing is astounding. A great talent and I would love to read more. Well done to Claudia!
I’m in, I want to know more. Such descriptive writing from Claudia – Congratulations. In so few words Claudia has created a very compelling scene and drawn the reader right in to her story. Keep using your talent Claudia.
Wow!! Incredibly advanced writing for her age! Such a vivid imagination. Well done Claudia – this is fantastic! Keep writing and sharing!
A wonderful description of complex emotions. Well done Claudia.
This from a 12 year old! unbelievable! Would love to read more! Well done Claudia.
Such a wonderfully descriptive piece so beautifully written it had me absorbed & wanting more…good luck with the competition and keep up the good work!!
Outstanding use of language for such a young person. An incredible grasp of mental health that plagues this world
The story is very gripping! Being in sixth form, this is certainly better than anything I could have written! Very well done.
Amazing work Claudia. I am super impressed.
Claudia ,very well written.Look forward to your first novel. Kathleen R.
This is super, Claudia! I’ m very curious about the dead writer and the narrator’s fear.
Good luck!
Well done, Claudia! A very mature piece of writing that drew me in immediately.
What an amazing gift you have Claudia. You show such xsensitivity and maturity way above your age.
I look forward to reading the beginning g and the end of your story because I am sure some one will send this to a publisher.
Intense words and vivid descriptions. You have an amazing talent, keep writing you have so much to offer.
Wow! What a gripping story, very impressed, look forward to reading your first novel !
Wow Claudia, I was hooked until the very end. I reckon even my teenage boys will read this and enjoy it! Well done, I hope you win.
This story shows an imagination and command of the English language consistent with an intelligence and maturity much older than a 12 year old. Well done Claudia, keep writing and keep developing it.
Such an amazing story for such a young age!! The story grabbed my attention and impressively used complex words and sentences. Well done!!!
Well done and good luck! People too easily forget what was going on in their head when they were 12. Keep it up and dont let your age be a barrier to your talent!
Fantastic. Gripped from the start.
I struggled to believe a 12 year old had the words and vision to tell the story she did and how beautifully and eloquently.
Words that often are not used frequently enough in day to day English – this young lady has a wise head upon her shoulders.
Well done for putting pen to paper. Keep up the excellent work.
What a lovely story. Well done!
Wow – I was there in the story!!
Amazing work … a talent to be watched !!
Wow what a story, so much tension. Well done Claudia.
Wow. What a powerful piece of writing for someone so young.
So advanced for a 12 year old . Well done .
Very grown up writing style with excellent descriptive language drawing you in and building up the tension.
Well done Claudia, and good luck
It’s difficult to believe that the writer is only 12. I look forward to reading more from her in the future as a published author.
Fantastic work Claudia!
Oooo I’d love to read more. My kind of story and great writing! Well done indeed!
Woah that was an intense read, Amazing Claudia. You should definitely keep writing, finish the book for us all we’d love to read it.
Well done and good luck
Beautifully written – a little bit scary which shows the great text x
Wow! I’m looking forward to a signed copy of her first published novel. Well done Claudia.
Wow Claudia! An amazing piece of writing.
Very impressive use of language to build emotion and tension, it prompts the reader to want to know more… The perfect formula for a budding young novelist.
When’s the next extract?? I would definitely read on.
Keep it up Claudia as you obviously have a great talent!
Gripping from the beginning to the end. I want to know the whole story. Awesome insight and awareness. Your writing is very powerful Claudia can not wait to see more of it.
Wow Fiona that’s amazing! Go Claudia, I look forward to reading more in the future. 12!! I definitely wasn’t writing like this even for my GCSEs, pretty sure I still couldn’t now!
Wow……that’s brilliant Claudia, clever girl👍🏻
Amazing to be able to write like this at your age Claudia . Exceptional talent . Keep on writing and well done x x
Claudia this is an amazing piece of writing. I’m desperate to know how it ends. Please write the whole story. Gripping and powerful. Well done.
Such an amazing piece of work. If I didn’t know how old Claudia was I would have thought this was written by an adult.
Just fantastic, keep it up!
Amazing piece for a child of 12! So lovely to see so much encouragement as well. Well done young lady, keep up your passion for writing and you’ll go far. 😊
Wow, just wow…..I’m blown away by this……it’s amazing for a girl of Claudia’s age to have such in-depth feelings of what this lady is going through…..well done. I can’t wait to read about what has brought this lady to this place and is this the end? What is the aftermath of her actions and the effects on others…..a book in the making can’t wait to read it.
This is really good story Claudia
A beautiful and descriptive piece of writing. Well done!
An impressive piece of writing for her age demonstrating creativity and a skilful presentation .Claudia has a mature vocabulary and shows great potential, I wish her well .
Incredible both for its darkness & evocative words.
Amazing writing, allows you to completely submerge into the story and lose yourself in the rich vocabulary bringing the story to life so vividly.
Wow Claudia , I definitely want to know more. You are extremely talented, good luck!
Great imagery Claudia. Well done!
This is extremely impressive, Claudia! Carry on! You are on track to becoming an outstanding writer!
Wow. What a mature piece of writing Claudia. I was immediately drawn into the story. Great work.
Well done Claudia, what an amazing talent. Can’t wait for you to come and tutor my girls!
A great story and very well written.
Well done Claudia. Fantastic imagery and evocative language. Keep the stories coming
What marvellous descriptive writing. I want to read the book!
Wow, what a great descriptive piece of writing, fantastic work Claudia.
A future author undoubtedly, way ahead of her years in every way, can’t wait to read more from Claudia!
Fabulous opening paragraph that hooks the reader. It is a thought provoking story full of intrigue. Well done Claudia and good luck.
Fantastic descriptive writing by Claudia.
Dear Claudia- what an powerful piece of writing! The setting is evocative, the tension real and gripping, the language vivid and well-chosen. I was pulled instantly into the story and not released until the final word. I really enjoyed reading this and hope to read more of your writing in the future!
And Congratulations on getting shortlisted!!!