The Love of Children

By Charu Vashishtha. Charu is a Senior Manager at a Life Insurance firm.

We love our children naturally. They are the part of our flesh and blood. They resemble us and carry forward our legacy. It is only natural to think about them. It is only instinctive in living beings of some sizable intelligence to care about their young ones. Our protective instincts come into play with regard to our children. 

In this world, the concept of the survival of the fittest is evident and as such, in order for our children to survive, we have to let them experience harsh circumstances. 

We cannot be with our children forever. The best gift to them would be to make them capable of not only survival but growth. Therefore, it is necessary to expose them to rough waters in order for them to have a safer and brighter future. 

Mothers, tell me something, do you remember the day when you first took your toddler to school? I am sure most of you do and I am sure you would felt the anxiety of leaving your loved one, your protected one in the outside world. There must have been tears in your child’s eyes that day. But you did what was right. It was important to let go of your child for a few hours just as it is important to let go of them when they mature. It is for their own good, or else they might never discover themselves and their independence. 

I remember a story about a person who watched a fledging butterfly struggling to break open from its cocoon. After watching intently for quite some time, the person thought of helping the butterfly. He broke open the cocoon and waited for her to use her wings and fly, but it didn’t happen. The breaking of the cocoon by the butterfly is a natural process, in which she finds her strength and her body generates the fluids necessary to fly. By trying to help and make things easier for the butterfly, the man rendered the butterfly weak and unable to fend for herself.  

As they say, “No pain, No gain.” 

Those who have read the book, ‘And Mountains Echoed’ by ‎Khaled Hosseini, would know the story of how an impoverished man sells her daughter to have her adopted by a rich woman. In the book he relates to his children a story about a demon who picks up a man’s child. The man fights hard to get his child back and undergoes great hardships but he gives up only when he understands that the life the demon is giving to his child is much better than what he could ever provide. The story is not simply fiction. The same happens in real life. 

I have also read true stories of how in the times of the Irish Potato Famine, Irish farmers willingly and enthusiastically shipped their children to America so that they could have a decent future there as domestic help or laborers rather than die in depravation in front of them. They were willing to let go of their children. They were willing to never to see them again. 

They were willing to put their children in a boat for they knew that the water was safer than land. 

Love is a strange thing. It enables us to do things which we would have never thought of doing. Love makes us stronger, sometime even more vulnerable, but in the end we do everything in our might and beyond, for the wellbeing of our loved one.  It may hurt us deep inside to be stern with our child, to not give in to their every whim and fancy. Sometimes even making them hate us for doing what is right for them because we know that they are yet to discover what is good for them. 

It took great many years for me to understand my father.  I respected him, loved him as a daughter would but in those years of growing up, I never really understood him. He would make me rise early in the day and stay up late in the night to me study hard. I believed I did decently in school but I never heard a word of appreciation from him. He always asked me to do better next time. I thought he didn’t consider me good enough. I worked harder to prove myself to him. It is now that I understand that when he told me that I could do better, it was not that he thought that I was not good enough but that he thought I was capable of more than I knew. He had complete faith in me and pushed me to do more. 

The days when I silently complained that I had to study so hard while my class fellows had an easy life, I forgot to consider that he too was giving up an easy life for me.  He too rose early, stayed up and in the night guiding me. It was because of him that I have discovered my strengths. I know that whatever the situation may be, I will never give up. In dire circumstances when I have lost all, I can still start everything from scratch for I know I can work hard. I have faith in myself.  

He gifted me the best gift a parent to could give. The gift of education. The gift of self-worth. I now understand this because I am a parent. And because I too would put my children in a boat when I know that water is safer than land. 

 

83 comments on “The Love of Children

  1. Kumar Harsh on

    Reading this article took me to my days of childhood when my father would wake up with me at 4 to teach me, and then sleep at 11 in night only after me. I used to wonder what else he wants when I was already among the toppers in the school. Now I understand his aspirations for me was greater than I could ever had.
    Today I am counted as a fairly intelligent person, and I know why.
    Parents are unparallel when it comes to developing their offsprings. I have came to realize that every good that resounds in me begins form them.
    Now I am enough young that I question and challenge his decisions and perceptions, again I know who gave me this strength.

    Thank you for this beautiful article.

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Thank you so much for the insightful comment Harsh. Your words and understanding resonates with mine.
      It is indeed to difficult to understand the ways of parents initially but as we grow in years and experiences we come to understand and appreciate their methods. They did the best they could think of, in their respective circumstances.

      Reply
  2. Charu Vashishtha on

    Thank you so much for the insightful comment Harsh. Your words and understanding resonates with mine.
    It is indeed to difficult to understand the ways of parents initially but as we grow in years and experiences we come to understand and appreciate their methods. They did the best they could think of, in their respective circumstances.

    Reply
  3. Dr. Mohan Lal on

    I am amazed the way you were able to expound the real essence of life that is faith. The theory
    of evolution suggests that whatever it might come, the living being will adjust itself to move
    along the path called progress. The only thing we require is little intelligence which any way
    nature has bestowed us. Kudos for writing such an article which reinvigorate the universal adage
    which otherwise goes un-noticed.

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      That’s a very interesting perspective indeed. Th fact that parents lead to betterment of their children who in turn work for betterment from their own children can be related to the theory of evolution.
      Thanks do much for your comment.

      Reply
  4. Ar.Vandana Yadav on

    Hi Charu…
    My dear….We are Very Lucky to have our parents with us..who hold our hands..stand by our side even today

    We all should be thankful to Parents for what we r today ….As you said their Hard work Intesity n strength is something we can revise todayyyy.

    Good article Charu…
    N thanks for givinge a chance again to say…I love u pappaji mummyji alwaaaaaay.
    God bless alwaysss

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Indeed Vandana di, Parents should be cherished the most. Its just that some of us realize their value later in life when we actually happen to take up their roles.
      We should never shy away from letting our parents know how much we love and appreciate them.

      Reply
  5. Arti on

    As a parent we all want best for kids and try to push them to strive for best always. A parent is a guiding force who helps the child realise his true potential… unfortunately children understand the intent only when they grow up. Till such time it’s a constant effort which a parent can’t leave till the young bird leaves the nest :). Hail all parents

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Very well said Arti di. Of all the relationships in this world, the one with our parents is the most unconditional and nurturing. Parents love us as we are . We are special to them no matter what. And they help us realize our true potential.

      Reply
  6. Chintan on

    The article is a must read for children in their adolescence who experience a burst of energy without the knowledge how to channelize it for their future prospects. This is the only time when they can blindly follow the instructions of their parents without the fear of any repercussion. The article also serves in appreciating the basic instinct in parents for well-being of their wards. The lucidity in your personal narration is particularly impressive and is really heart touching which in fact relates to every one of us.

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Wow Chintan. Wonderful perspective. I meant the article to be read by adults. But it is indeed true that it may make a good read for adolescents. If children have faith in their parents , it would infuse them with great deal of positivity.

      Reply
  7. Neha Khanna on

    The power of love couldn’t have been explained in simpler words. How it makes people strong and vulnerable at the same time and how when in love we choose to do the right thing for our loved ones instead of doing the easy thing.

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Well said Neha. Love is indeed the most wonderful emotion. It makes us rise above our inherent insecurities and complexes. And we become strong enough not to think about our selfish motives but about the benefit of the one we love.

      Reply
  8. Radhika Garodia on

    I appreciate your effort in developing the ever needed bonding between children and parents. As it often happens, it is too late when children realize that they missed the golden epoch of their life and are bereft now with the heavenly love their parents had for them. Going through the write-up I am sure, one may feel reaffirmed about his obligations towards his or her children no matter if it is reciprocated or not.

    Reply
  9. Ashish on

    Charu, I am a regular reader of your blog articles and stories.
    Let me first allow commenting on your writing style first rather than contents which are invariably simple and yet deftly unfold the complication of life. Your approach is just like a doctor who doesn’t operate on the body for a malaise using an anesthesia, instead caresses it with soft hands in full view of yours and as a result in no time you are cured. One can say it is soothing while for the other it is an exhilarating experience. Now coming to your present article, love comes in your life in many forms and one of them is loving yourself. It is really strange that you are ready to sacrifice your life in loving and being loved. All the time you are looking for an object to perform this act which makes you miserably dependent on that particular object. Loving yourself is mostly derided but is the only form of love that is constructive and pushes you forward to do more rather than entangling you in vagaries of life. Yet this is the most difficult form of love as you fail to see yourself as an object. Nature gives a chance to do that in form of loving your children and your life is fulfilled. Praise you for writing an article that is full of love.

    Reply
  10. Amitabha Saha on

    ‘Child is the father of the nation’ seems to be forgotten now days or used at most as a cliché. If we do not nurse our children with love, how can we groom them in lifting the burden of nation’s expectations on their tiny shoulders. The best way to do that is to develop an inclination of appreciation towards them. In doing so, we ourselves will be benefited by witnessing those qualities once again which we as an adult, completely lost long back in time. The innocence on their faces, the agility with which they perform a task, the impromptu witty reply without an iota of hesitation and many more such expressions are missing from our lives. God has given us one more chance to enliven all of those. Wish you best for writing such a refreshing article once again.

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Children bring back our own childhood. Observing children is the greatest joy. We learn how to “live in the moment”, “never hold any grudges” and “love unconditionally” from them.
      Thanks for the insightful comment.

      Reply
  11. Pooja Shalini on

    Charu, I know you as a person. According to you, you are an architect by education, software engineer by profession and a writer by choice. For me you are much more than that. You are an executive, a manager, a blogger, a recipient of awards for writing stories and articles, a distinguished speaker at national and international oration events, a mother of a cute girl, a loving and caring wife and above all a dutiful daughter in law. Before reading this article, I was wondering if you had a magic wand which performs tasks that are inherently diverse in nature. But after reading your present composition, I now know for sure that the secret is your ungrudging heart that is full of love and kindness.
    ‘Love of children’ is the epitome of natural living if not one’s ability of ’Being normal’. I take quote from your article, ‘Love is a strange thing, it enables us do things which we would have never thought of doing’. Further, you foregrounded that the natural way to feel the magic of love is to look into heart-warming eyes of children with prior condition that you are not preoccupied with any thought at that moment. That way you shall feel a sudden surge of creativity which in turn is reflected in the way you behave and are able to perform tasks which hitherto were seemingly impossible.
    I am not able to find words in appreciating the way you are able to bring out the innate qualities to deal with the oddity of life which otherwise can’t be solved in one’s life time. I can only request you to keep exploring and dispensing the ways to deal eccentricity of life.

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Thanks for such generous praise. I am not sure i am that special. But good people do find goodness in others like you do.
      However, sometimes its important to separate the artist from art which giving a objective assessment of their art. Or else our image of former may shadow the latter.
      Love is indeed a magical feeling. Not only magical but divine for it helps rise above about self-centered nature and look beyond. Love for children makes us want to be better people.

      Reply
  12. Jitender Bajaj on

    Simply an amazing blog which can only be written by a beautiful mind. I could feel my thoughts naturally flowing in the direction where you were talking them which is nothing but a reflection of your purity within.

    I am also impressed with it’s simplistic style which is very much essential in this age of information explosion.

    I had an immediate connect the moment you started with “We love our children naturally”. The words LOVE, CHILDREN & NATURAL have a profound meaning and these have a very strong connection with each other just like our body mind connection.

    Nothing in the world could have been a better closing statement than “I too would put my children in a boat when I know that water is safer than land”.

    You have marvelously explained the power of love and I think World would be a better place to live if this expression of love gets extended beyond our own children.

    Thank you Charu for posting the blog. Count me as one of admirers of your writing.

    Reply
  13. Neha Nigam on

    Lovely write up Charu! “No pain no gain” is something which should be instilled in a person from his/her childhood. I remember how sometimes in my childhood days I used to become reluctant for some of the teachings given by my parents. But as a parent now I understand the importance of training my daughter for the tough competition/difficult situation which she might have to come across in life.

    Reply
  14. vivek Sharma on

    Good to read especially every one can relate it with their own childhood and respectively parenthood.Small footprints of children are having bigger impression on every parents heart. So we need to let them free and dream high also guidance is equally necessary for them to respect others.

    Reply
  15. Bhaskar on

    Parents are our first teachers and the most important ones. They teach us a lot about life and prepare us for whatever future has in store for us.
    Hats off to them.

    Reply
  16. Nisha Kalra on

    There is no better gift than a gift of Education.. and I can completely understand how close the relationship between parents and a child can be..

    Beautiful piece of writing Charu.. Every time you write something it’s always heart touching and connecting !!!

    Reply
  17. Bhavneet Kaur on

    Nice write up Charu. This is must for every individual of any age to read and understand the love, care and sacrifices behind their parent’s efforts for them. We usually misunderstand them and then regret later for what we could have appreciated but didn’t and missed giving a small happiness to our parents by just thanking them for they have done for us. Usually people understand them once they themselves become parents or when they realise their parents are the only one standing behind them for the support in hard times when no one is with us not even the friends or relatives whom we have more importance than them. So better to understand this right away and thanks our parents for everything they have done for us so far and made us sit in such a comfort zone . Also, it may help us too to become wonderful parents in future as well with great strength and willingness to do something for our kids with a feeling of respect for our parents and making them as our idol to grow further in life. Thanks for writing this Charu, in this fast moving world we start taking our family for granted without realising their actual worth in our life. We’ll done and keep writing such blogs…kudos!!!

    Reply
    • Charu Vashishtha on

      Beautiful words Bhavneet. Indeed the point is that we start taking our parents for granted and often question their choices and their ways. But we should always cherish them for we are what we are today because they took care of us when we needed them the most.

      Reply
  18. Radhika on

    Very well articulated. Your every write up is so beautifully written that one can easily connect and derive the key message from it.
    Keep up the good work!!

    Reply

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