“Hate attracts hate.” I fully agree with this statement. But it is equally true to say that “love attracts love”, and “generosity attracts generosity”.
As a side note, I prefer the more old-fashioned term, “breed”. “Violence breeds violence.” “Honesty breeds honesty.” Because the word “breed” gives off the idea of not only reproducing, growing and multiplying, but also of being passed down from generation to generation. Which shows more clearly why we live in a world of hate breeding hate.
In this blog, I define “hate” as all negative thoughts, feelings and actions. Similarly, “love” is all positive qualities of the human being.
Firstly, I’d like to argue that if we want our life to exemplify “love breeds love”, we should distance ourselves from people who overwhelmingly express negative feelings, such as resentment and dislike. If we are surrounded by hate, it’s much harder to love. Someone immersed in an environment of betrayal, drunkenness, unconscious acts, would find it extremely challenging to express sincerity, warmth, tenderness and all other virtues of the soul.
When we hate, not only do we easily fall into committing other errors, like revenge, self-pity and loathing, but we also pollute all others around us. Even pet dogs are often a victim of the hate and cruelty sent off by their owner.
As a practical example, when we criticize, yell at or offend another, the other person reacts to our behaviour on the same level. Hate breeds hate. The feelings are reciprocal. Not everyone retaliates with criticism, yelling or offending, physically, but we almost always react in our private thoughts and feelings. Inner urges to criticize back, yell back or offend the other. Or perhaps other negative reactions to the insult. Feeling hurt, planning revenge, or being cold and unfeeling. There are many possible reactions to an offense, but all are negative. Hate attracts hate.
Now if we take the “goodness breeds goodness”, or “love creates love” approach, a clearly-seen example is the effect of a small baby in a household.
Let´s say from six to eighteen months, a baby is completely spontaneous, loving and entirely free of any knowledge of hate.
A baby of this young age, spreads love to all the members of his or her family. The grandparents become softer and more accepting in their approach. The parents freely and openly say, “I love you” to the baby. The baby´s laughter is highly contagious, spreading joy. And everyone who sees the baby has sudden loving urges to hold the baby. Touching the baby, showing tenderness.
Summarizing my opinion, we are easily influenced by the behaviour and feelings of those around us. Whenever we surround ourselves with loving and honourable influences, we will find it easier to express family values, and when we are encompassed by destructive people, who are poor in human values, we will react negatively as well.
The most obvious counterargument to all this would be, “but everyone has choice”. I would like to argue that this is idealism. There are ridiculously few people in this world who have such great restraint that are not offended when facing blunt criticism or other acts of hate.
Everyone would like to think that we have this level of control over our thoughts, feelings and behaviour, as to be able to choose to not react. There are a few people who have incredible self-control when it comes to their behaviour, but not when it comes to their thoughts and emotions. We react automatically to rejection, sarcasm and contempt. We have no choice in our reactions.
These words may seem very harsh, but my intention isn’t to take away our hope of changing and becoming better people. Rather, show the reality of our weak state.
It’s exactly because we are easily contaminated with hate, that shows we are all inter-connected.
In this modern world, it’s increasingly difficult to find genuinely loving environments to nourish our positivity. But once we are absorbed in one such space, those magic moments happen, when we feel comforted, supported, accepted and loved.
On a closing note, in Rio de Janeiro the slogan, “Violence generates violence” is common. It’s a cry for help. It’s more than a thought-provoker, it’s a stab of consciousness that leads us to reflect on our part in this city, and in the world.
Great article. So true. I always say positivity generates positivity.
Hi Abigail!
Thanks for your support!
I’m glad you already are cued into my idea.
Thinkly positively influences our lives for sure!
Concordo muito! Vamos ser mais amor, e desejar o bem ao próximo!
Great attitude Daniela! Wishing the very, very best for others is a way of being love!
A resposta do que pensamos chega e na atualidade esta cada vez mais rapida esta resposta. E necessario mudarmos.
Thanks for this text
You´re welcome Luiz!
Wonderful text!! We are asleep, overwhelmed by our unthinking reactions. Remembering that “love breeds love” is a way of changing our thinking and feeling throughout life.
Thanks Tamara!
For sure we don’t reflect before we react!
If our conscienceness was awake, we’d act and not react.
Great comment!
Ola! Bem legal tudo que vem para cada um que se ler.Amo gera Amo e verdade mais infelizmente isso não er tão fácil pq crescemos deixamos de ser aquile bebê encontramos uma barreira do orgulho mais com um pouco de hmuidade poderemos chegar lá limpando o ódio e gerando esse amor que vc expreco Celestina parabens estar maravilhoso.
Hi Maria Aparecida
Thanks for your comments.
Yes, we certainly aren´t the same as when we were babies, and purifying ourselves of hate by being more humble may help us generate love in ourselves and in the world!
Great points
Thanks Marcio.
Lindo texto e verdadeiro
Very good!!!
This year I thought too much about those energy things! This article machs perfectly with my way of thinking! Well done, I loved!
Thanks Rodrigo! We’re on the same vibe this year!
A beautiful article! These are certainly ideals which I attempt to teach to my own children, so that they retain that innate innocence and approach life with a kind, grateful and loving attitude. Nobody should underestimate the consequences of kind words and the flow on effect they have in creating happy family relationships.
Thanks for your comment Julie. You truly added a special something to this page
Julie! I´ve been thinking about cause and effect! The consequences of our thoughts, attitudes, feelings, words, looks and actions definitely effect our relationships and especially those with our family.
Are we really aware of the looks we give one another?
I have felt the power of love breeds love through my own Mother who taught me never to judge another but instead to always seek to find a path to love or compassion. It is powerful and certainly leads to a happier life. Lovely reminder.
Thanks for that Tara.
We can certainly learn a lot from positive examples, especially in our early years.
Learning to not judge others, certainly must be a blessing.
I totally agree to this article.
If someone criticizes and harms you, it means that he needs help. To stop breeding hates, I think, we should forgive them. Forgiveness is love.
Thanks for your article!
Thanks Jae Hyoun. I’m feeling so full of forgiveness with your nice comment
Gostei muito! Sempre encorajo meus alunos a amar mais o próximo. Concordo com o texto e acredito que é necessário cercar-se de amor e promover a bondade.
Thanks Renata. You surely must be a great teacher!
Great article! And of course, i am of the same opinion. People can be so contaminated with hatred and consequently, barely have eyes to see this fact, your article can be a “wake up” call. Indeed, food for thought! Well done!
Thanks Raphael. The idea is to share ideas. Thanks for yours.
Such wise words as we head into 2020! The vibration of love can not be underestimated how powerful it is. A simple smile can change someones day.
Thanks Kylie. You made me smile!
Agreed, we can’t expect a different outcome if we respond the same way as the other person does. Great article 🙂
Thanks Tayane for your kind words and great opinion!
I would like to continue reading more about the chemical influences of these feelings on each person. Congrats, it’s a beautiful article 🙂
Thanks Claudio. Everything we eat, think, and feel influences our behaviour. It’s all interconnected. Each person is unique!
I completely agree with you. Kindness breeds kindness.
Thanks Gildene! We can add positive values to the world by spreading generosity, love and kindness
Great article and a good reminder that we take on what we surround ourselves with. The world needs more compassion and understanding so we all need to do our bit to enhance social values and behaviour.
Thanks so much Lynette for your expression of good values! I’m glad you liked it.
Well thought out and written opinion piece. I totally agree with you. But, don’t just breed the love and tolerance. Spread as much of it as far as you can.
Thanks Keith. What a great idea!
Hi my dear friend Celestine, your thought is the same as mine ! Very nice article and you can write a book ! Thanks for sharing this article and keep spreading love around the world, we need more this nowadays 💕
Thanks dear Carla! Yes, we’re very like-minded. Thanks for your kind words.
Yes, agreed. And I share your feeling about the word ‘breed’. “Attract” occurs to me as a much more superficial word and suggests that we can easily shake it off. “Breed” goes far deeper and begins to affect who we are becoming. Here’s to generating and seeking more environments that breed love!
Wow Kirsten! Thanks for sharing.
Great insights. You’re giving me things to think about.
Great article Celeste! It reminds me of some sage advice a mother gave her daughter at school the other day when she said “just be nice to everyone”. I think that sums it up really!
Hi Lisa.
That’s a great example of how education should be. Thanks for commenting.
simplesmente perfeito! O amor gera amor, até por lei de afinidades. Ninguém da aquilo que não tem e muitos reclamam por não ser amado mas por não produzir amor!
Lei da atração, se quer receber primeiro temos que dar. A maior desgraça do ser humano é ao invés de querer servir, querem ser importantes!
Thanks Thays. You raised an important point – giving first before expecting to receive anything.
And that people what to feel important more than serving and helping others.
Just wonderful! Thanks
It made me think that being lovingly is something we already know but not always practice. And when you use the word “Breeds” it makes me understand our love sense as an act of responsibility towards humanity, and being more literal as an act of militancy for future generations. Congratulations for this article, and thanks for your beautiful words!
Hi Vinicius!
Each person has their view on love. I hope I helped expand your feeling about love, as you helped mine.
Wonderful article – much love 💖
A nice reminder that self control plays a major part in emotional happiness.
Thanks dear for your kindness. It means the world to me.
Self control is essential for treating others well and with respect.
Your viewpoint is interesting that it also contributes to our own happiness on an emotional level.
So enjoyed reading this article! So well said.
I’m teaching my grandchildren all about kindness. How a simple hello or smile can make someone’s day! They also know that when they don’t get the same in return that it is ok as there could be many reasons why the person is not happy today.
My 4 year old grandson whilst riding his scooter said hello to a man who looked a bit flustered and worried. The man responded with a frown. My grandson turned to me and said “I think that man needs a hug” 😍
Kindness breeds love!
That’s a great story Toni-Ann! Thanks for sharing and spreading love to me, here on the other side of the planet.
Does love start with kindness? You way with words makes for more deep reflection! 🌹
Beautiful article. It has been a year that I started to read and apply the concept of kindness and positive thinking. It isn’t easy on the daily basis but it makes a big change in our lives and who is around us. Thank you Celestine for reinforce something so important for our personal development.
Thanks Maria Grazia.
I’m glad it touched you in a positive way!
Actually, you mentioned some important points. That it isn’t easy, so that means it requires effort. And as Belinda said above, self control.
And you also said about the benefits of personal development, real life change and better personal relationships. It’s so great to improve the quality of our relationships.
Not only with those who really are dear to us, but with everyone, the boss, neighbours, colleagues, feiends of friends, shop assistants, everyone.
Thanks for your comment.
Very interesting this article; very uplifting, very exciting!
Indeed there is a cause-effect correlation between love and love, hate and hate. I apreciate this aproach: love “breeding” love. Yes, because it comes in fact, in the begining of this linear process, of the background of our ancestors, our roots, our history as it appears a lot wider than our personal range of experience. Our first arrival in life as a been-loved experience or a experience of hate, in the meaning settled by the author as “all negative thoughts, feelings and actions”.
But of course, if we consider this causal linearity as totaly colsed on itself, we might be trapped in a prision of hate that couldn’t be redemed by the inner side. Anyway, life itself show us that in many cases it seems to be just like this: there are many people that just can’t transcend or avoyd this “hate breeding hate” process, and it is very difficoult to love people like this.
I think this is the reason why Mother Therese from Calcutá once said: “good people diserves our love. But the bad people needs it!”. As human beens, it’s supposed we have a choice against our “natural” hate reactions. We have to make our particular choice in order to allow others hate to breed hate in ourselves, or interrupt it in order to create love where there is hate. Of course, that is a hate reaction, a spontaneous, mechanic response to hate that hardly could be anything else but hate in ourselves. Well, there is not the point. The point is our hability (and disponibility, or will) to, “a posteriori”, work on it, bring conscience to it. Yes, we can. It’s an effort. But not just a moral one: it can be a honest try to purifficate ourselves from hate. We are not condemned to be slaves from hate. We can learn to love. We must, I would dare to say.
Thinking this way, our love may be able to change others hability to find love as well. If we take the responsability of being a part of this chain of hate or love, what would we choose to be: a love breeder or a hate breeder? But above all things, it is in our hand to allow hate to keep creating hate in us. If we are able to find love, it can “lift us where we belong”, take us away from the hell of hate in that others hate may keep us.
Was there Saint John of the Cross who once said: “wherever there’s no love, put love and you’ll find love”? Is that posible? Is it real? Well, maybe, maybe not. But at least in our particular, inner world, in can be a fact. And learning to love, as the process of converting hate into love, we can be redemed of this causal prision of hate breeding hate. But… How can we find love?
I don’t have the answer… But how about “letting go”?. What if we could just be lighter, simpler? It’s not simple, I know, but it’s posible, it’s available for all of us, or isn’t it? To try to forgive, to try to understand. To try to aprecciate. Looking for something to love in the people that we hate, and focus on it. It doesn’t mean to be blind to the bad things, to become stupid in order to be good… It means to awake, to see further than apearences, to look into the deepest reality that hate covers. I want to believe that “in begining there was love”. Still, there is. We just have to become sensible to it. To become “love breeders”. To overcome hate – not denying it, but facing it, bringing conscience to it, letting go and… Well. I’ll let you find out what commes next. But I can tell you something: if you go deep enought into hate, maybe you’ll find out there’s an unloved love just waiting to be loved and… Love!
Sorry for the english mistakes xD
Hi Heitor.
Thanks for yoir deep reflections and original ideas!
It’s very touching to hear that “bad” people need our acts of love.
I argued that we need to protect ourselves from negative environments because it’s all too easy to lower our standards of ethical behaviour when surrounded by criticism and other violent acts.
It would take a person who has transformed him or herself completely to express love constantly to “bad” people. Someone who has self control, light emotions and a heart full of love….
Going even deeper, your words made me feel that the real source of the “hate” problem in the world today is the hate we feel towards ourselves. And admitting that, understanding hate in ourselves and especially forgiving ourselves is are break through steps we need to take for live to simply flow unto ourselves and then unto others, to become love breeders.
Finally, you brought up a great love breeding “strategy”! To look for something to love in the other and focus on that quality. This takes personal effort ans is indeed our responsibility as world-citizens and would surely increase our sensibility to love, as we’re already sensitive to hate and experts at seeing defects in the other.
We need this “tool” to make a transformation and lift ourselves up!
Hi Celestine!
Indeed, we have to find love, I’m convinced that the only way to redeem ourselves and others from the darkness of the hate is creating some “love’s light” to keep us warm and allow us to see further than the limits of our vicious patterns of bad feelings. As the song says: “Love changes everything”. And yes, If it’s possible, to avoyd hate-enviroments and negative people, that poison us and brings us down!
A resposta dos nossos pensamentod estao cada vez mais rapidas. E necessario mudancas.
Hi Gizeli.
Our thoughts certainly are numerous. And they lead to our feelings.
If our thoughts are negative, our emotions will also be negative.
We all need to change.
As Belinda said, with self control.
Control of our thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
To have a better world and improve our relationships with one another.
Thanks for your comment.
Muito bom o seu sentir!!! Existe um escritor que diz ” …só o amor , por nobre e fecundo pode adoçar o cálice de amargura. ”
Temos que buscar praticar mais a esses valores do coração!
Mariá! Thanks for quoting an author for us! “…only love, as it is noble and fertile can sweetness the cup of bitterness.”
Yes love can help us overcome the traces of our traumas that are left in us, including bitterness, ressentment, hatred.
And of course putting these heartful values into action in our everyday aiim.
Great!
Very good. 😃
Thanks Cristiano
Excelente. Esse é o sistema político que nosso país precisa neste exato momento .
Que texto lindo!!! ❤️
Fantástico seu artigo!!!
Deus é amor!!!
Beijos.
great article. Congratulations, Celestine.