The Conflicts of Our Lives

Posted on October 17, 2019 by the Editor

Written by Nataliia Bulat, from Podilsk, Ukraine. Nataliia, 27, is a PhD student at Odessa I.I.Mechnikov National University. Please read and leave your comments and thoughts below.

Every writer knows that a good story requires colourful characters and conditions where they can express themselves. An interesting plot is unconceivable without a conflict. It does not matter whether it is a quarrel between two persons, a confrontation between different groups or a mental fight. From fairy tales to social novels, from plays to poetry, from flash fiction to trilogies – every piece of literature needs a conflict. As Veronica Roth wrote, ‘If there’s no conflict, there are no stories worth telling – or reading’. However, what if this statement is applicable not only to made-up stories, but also to real lives?

Despite the difference of the professions we have, all of us are authors of our destinies. Every day we write a story. We fill it with emotions, acts, prayers, aims and conflicts.

Each of our characters are unique, and it is no wonder that sometimes they come to opposition. Different goals as well as the same ones can become a great source of competition and antipathy. We dispute with our friends protecting a particular point of view, we argue with our neighbors proving that 75 decibels of music at 3 a. m. is too noisy, we take offence at leaving dirty cups by our household members… So many everyday situations can bring conflicts into our lives, but isn’t it great?

Controversy serves the cause of truth; a conflict is a good chance to say about our feelings and worries, and after a quarrel, there comes peace. Conflicts fill a life; they move it; they help to pass decisions and act.

However, is it true for all of us? Are conflicts present in every life? I think they are. Of course, you can avoid conflict situations, your friends can share all of your ideas, your neighbors and household members can be perfect, or you can live alone, you can have benevolent colleagues and an ideal boss, or you can be a boss yourself… You can be the most peaceful person, but it doesn’t make your life free of conflicts.

There are two main reasons for that. Firstly, a life without conflicts is impossible because a person cannot have views that would not be opposite to someone else’s ones. Avoiding conflicts on a personal level does not guarantee that one is out of group conflicts. There are different political opinions, different styles of art, different diets… Living in the world where so many differences exist requires making choices, and as our choices cannot be the same, we constantly are in a state of a conflict even we do not feel it.

The second reason is there are conflicts inside of us. In the same way as in literature, in our real lives, it is possible to separate conflicts into internal and external. We can have no evil genius and even no people with whom it is possible to quarrel, but inside conflicts are always with us. On the one hand, it is a chance to get out of a comfort zone and to follow a dream, but on the other hand – a possibility to keep the achievements we have. On the one hand, it is a need to stand up for being unfairly treated, on the other hand, there are benefits of keeping silence. On the one hand, it is an uncertainty, on the other hand, it is a stability. On the one hand, one can listen to an inner voice, on the other hand – to someone’s advice. How many times have we faced these conflicts? Nobody can be free of them.

External and internal conflicts are interrelated. The first ones generate the latter. Sometimes external conflicts arise without our partaking, but only we are responsible for their resolving, for choices made in our mental fight. A person meeting an external conflict can pass by or act – and act in a particular way. So many conflicts and so much responsibility!

Making a decision is not as easy as it seems at first. One needs to think carefully. Often opening one door requires closing another – in order to archive something, we sacrifice something else. Each small decision adds up to a large one. Finally, we all have to decide what kind of person to be – brave or cowardly, honest or deceitful, grateful for every day and the present or disappointed because of failures. It is life – a story full of conflicts, where each choice has its consequences.

One day, today’s life will become a history. Will it be worth telling or reading? In my opinion, it depends not only on the conflicts we have, but also on the decisions we make. This is similar to writing. An author creates a conflict of a story not to show the conflict itself, but to describe heroes’ decisions and that way to present the characters of these heroes. Could we know about the kindness and Cinderella’s ability to forgive if she lived happily with the Prince from the beginning to the end of the fairy tale? I think it would be impossible. As well as through resolving a conflict a writer describes a character, making a choice, we express ourselves.

It is important to remember that in our lives, we are not readers or listeners – we are authors and heroes. Our stories can be full of love, despair, integrity, mistakes, honour… Only we are responsible for this. Will the stories be ordinary or great? It is a question that requires making a choice – a conflict we are involved at this moment. Be inspired! Resolve it! Write a story worth telling and reading.

 

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601 comments on “The Conflicts of Our Lives”

  4. Svetlana on

    I absolutely agree with the author. Conflicts are an inevitable part of our lives. The other thing is how we resolve them.

    Reply
    • Nataliia on

      Thank you for your comment. Often, we really are not responsible for being involved in a conflict (it is just a part of life), but it is important to remember that we are always responsible for the resolving of our conflicts.

      Reply
  55. Violetta on

    “Write a story worth telling and reading”.
    Not everyone is given the opportunity to write stories that they would like to read. Read someone’s life? Discuss? I do not want. This is just my life.

    Reply
    • Nataliia on

      I meant that it is possible to draw an analogy between real lives and made-up stories. Of course, not every life can be expressed in literature, but every life can be as great as a good book.

      As for me, reading someone’s life is not about discussing his/her behavior or gossip. It is about admiration (especially by future generations), but to get the admiration one needs to deserve it. In my opinion, it is possible for everyone. We all can make our lives great, and the way we resolve conflicts has a key role in this.

      Reply
  141. Елена on

    Очень интересная статья. И да, конфликты всегда присуществуют в нашей жизни.

    Reply
    • Nataliia on

      Спасибо Вам огромное! Да, без них никуда)) Но ведь это прекрасно. Часто именно конфликтная ситуация служит поводом рассказать о своих чувствах и переживаниях, помириться и укрепить отношения. Кроме того, в споре, как известно, рождается истина. А сколько важного в жизни заставляют переосмислить наши внутренние конфликты!.. В общем, конфликты повсюду, но без них жизнь была бы невозможной.

      Reply
  174. Jessa Jay on

    Very articulate- I can totally relate; a man without conflict is but a non existent being… ideas and inventions will not be there if it weren’t for conflict.

    Reply
    • Nataliia on

      Thank you very much! Conflicts are inevitable. However, in my opinion, we are responsible for our behavior in conflict situations and for resolving conflicts we face.

      Reply
  214. Светлана on

    It is my niece’s article. She is a very talented and creative girl. I wish her inspiration and further achivements. The article is amazing! We are really the authors of our lives and through resolving conflicks we can ‘write’ great stories.

    Reply
    • Nataliia on

      Thank you very much! To read such words from you is amazing!

      It’s true. And as authors we are responsible for the stories we ‘write’.

      Reply
  222. Nataliia on

    Voting will end in a few hours.

    Thank you to everyone for your attention, for reading my article, for every like and comment. To read your feedbacks is amazing! It really inspires to keep writing. Thank you also for sharing your thoughts and discussing the topic.

    Veronica Roth’s quotation has inspired me to think about the role of conflicts in our lives and to bring an analogy between real and made-up stories. And here is the result.

    I really appreciate all your feedbacks and the possibility to discuss the topic. Thank you!

    Reply
  228. Алена on

    Отличная статья, раскрывает всю правду нашей жизни, как она есть. Удачи вам и побед!

    Reply

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