Nothing is perfect. Something always has to be imperfect, flawed or damaged. You can’t always have the best parents, who give you everything you want. You can’t always have the best gadgets and the newest games. But what you can have is hope. Even if things are not going well and there is nothing you, or anyone can do to change it, everyone still has that little bit of hope that they cling to. They don’t realise it, but they cling onto it with all their strength. They won’t let it slip out of their grasp and into the wrong hands.
I am sitting on a couch with mum and dad, watching our favourite movie. Laughing and singing along to the words. Dad and I making funny faces to each other, while mum scolds us, and tells us to keep watching the movie quietly. The first time I learnt how to ride a bike without any training wheels. Dad reminding me to be resilient. Mum shouting from the side lines, giving me hope that I can win the battle between my bike, balance and myself. I won. Dad running around the park like footballers do when they score a goal or win a game. Mum crying tears of joy and sadness. Tears that show how proud she is of me, but also tears that show how grown up her little boy is. We were all so happy that day.
August 24th. My seventh birthday. Balloons and streamers all over the house. My best friends and family all around me, singing happy birthday in their loudest voices. Some of them straining their voice just to make me happy and give me the best birthday I could possibly have. Dad trying to smash my face in the cake, but I was too smart and he missed. Everyone laughing and cheering me on. Dad with his face full of defeat, but, of course, he still managed to crack a smile.
Now, I am eight and my whole life has flipped.
Mum got into an accident. Dad and mum were in an argument and mum decided that the best thing for both of them was if she went for a walk, alone. But they didn’t think about what the best thing for me was. She got hit. Policemen came knocking at our doors and dad’s face was a mix of emotions. Puzzled, pain and longing. Those emotions and that face was exactly like mine when my pet fish died. I didn’t really understand why mum wasn’t home until dad explained to me what had happened a few days later.
Dad started drinking. It started only in the evenings, but then it got worse and worse and became the whole day. It is crazy how things can change for someone in a matter of a year. 365 days. 8760 hours. One day I got fed up. I needed to think, so I came here.
The tallest skyscraper in Tokyo. The view of the city is captivating. It relaxes my mind instantly, taking me into a trance, where situations and things are great. The colours and lights aren’t something I have seen elsewhere. They are unique. I find warmth and comfort every time I am here. When I am here, there is something new about it. Whether one light has flickered on, or one light has turned off. The anticipation and the excitement send a rush through me.
But this time I am here for something different. Hope. This is where I remind myself that there is hope. Even though things aren’t as amazing as they could be. Even though things aren’t perfect, hope is the one thing that I know I can trust. I just have to hold on to hope. Never let go.