The inner voice

By Candace Golden. Candace, 18, is a student at Tift County High School, Georgia, USA. Please read her article and leave your thoughts and comments below. *Shortlisted for the NUHA Youth Blogging Prize 2017*

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And more important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs. Discuss.

Have you ever felt alone while walking through the crowded hallways of a school, that you never wanted to be at in the first place? Have you ever felt the humiliating mockery of the kids sitting in the background, and you wish you had the urge to turn around and say something, but no matter how many words built up in your mind, you can’t turn around and let them have it. You can’t let them know how you feel… the bug in your throat is just too strong.

That is how school is…It’s a fight, it’s a struggle. It’s a game of who’s more popular, who has the newest labels and the most expensive stuff, and if you don’t fit into that crowd, then it’s “hey, who are you,” because to them, you’re a nobody.

Reflecting on my 13 years of school, I can remember my best school year ever. Kindergarten year with Mrs Taylor and Mrs.Patterson, back when life was much simpler; when all kids were worried about was, “Can you hand me the purple crayon?”, or who was going to kick the ball first at recess, back when everyone was friends and there was no care in the world.

Life isn’t like that though. As you get older and go about your business, you’re separated and segregated into different groups, different labels. Either you’re the fat kid, or the geek, or the nerd, the high school jock that leads the school, or the pretty prom queen that thinks just because her lipstick is pretty and pink she can be a brat to everyone. Those friends that you thought would stick beside you forever are now some of the biggest strangers you’ve ever known, though I have no explanation of it.

I do think that education is important, but I don’t think bullying is being fully covered in that network. For example, when I was in the 6th grade, this girl had been picking on me the whole year, but it got really bad when this little boy revealed his private area to me in the middle of class. I told the teacher but since there was no evidence, nothing was really done about it and he went around telling people that I told on him. I was then in the wrong for it. Well, on this day, this girl came up to me, picking at me, saying stuff about this boy and how I was such a liar and calling me so many names that a 6th grader shouldn’t even know. Well, I got tired of it and told the teacher “I need you to handle this or I am going to have to end up handling it because I can’t take it anymore”. His response threw me over the edge. He said, “That isn’t my problem, and if you decide to take it into your own hands, then you will receive a write up”.

At this point I stopped caring about school. I stopped giving a crap about if I went or not, if I got an A or an F. If they weren’t going to care about me and how I felt, then why should I care? This went on for years and each year it got worse. I had to repeat 6th grade. I sunk into a deep sadness. I didn’t smile, I didn’t laugh. I was a hollow body of a girl who just wanted to fit in. I just wanted to be seen for who I really was.

Kids at school didn’t understand and they just made it worse. Some said I just wanted attention and others said “I wasn’t really hurting”. Others they just looked and laughed and then some didn’t even speak at all; they just listened and believed what everyone was saying. That is how the girl everyone thought they knew was formed.

I am now 18 years old. This is my last year of high school. I still get picked on sometimes, but not nearly as bad as before. But as the quote above states, “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And more important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”  I had to learn, what was going on in my life wasn’t the end of the world. I had to go under all that was going on, and find my voice. Through all of the years I was hiding under this insecure girl; that isn’t who I am. I am an intelligent, beautiful, sweet, down to earth, creative girl that is turning into an even better woman.

Those who aren’t as lucky as me, to find their voice. Whom are still stuck in a place they want to change, Or some that were stuck, but couldn’t handle it. They need a voice. They need someone to stand up! They need someone to stand up and say hey I AM HERE! I know what you’re going through! You will be okay!

We can be their voice until they find their own.

39 comments on “The inner voice

  1. Katherine Cone on

    I love this article. That explains a lot of what Candace went through growing up. I d know because I am her grandmother and I held her at some of her lowest moments and wiped away her tears as did her mother and father and grandfather. I am proud of the young lady she has become and how she has overcome the bullying

    Reply
  2. Priscilla Dillard on

    Every year school gets harder. Teachers don’t do like they should every time. Parents teach their kids to hate and discriminate towards others that are different. Everyone is important and different in their own way. Every voice needs to be heard and cared for. This article sums up how kids feel in school now a days.

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  3. Jacy Watts on

    Candace is one of the sweetest people I know, and I hate that she has gone through and does go through the terrible things people do. She’s a woman of many wise words. This is a wonderful article Candace.

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  4. Jackson Hodge on

    I have went threw bullying and I’ve gone threw it my hole entire life its not really slowed down but I wish that people would actually stand-up for others when they don’t stand up for themselves reading this article brought me peace and happiness and hope for future generations

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  5. Melissa Davis on

    Love this article. Candace sounds like a wonderful young lady. I was always picked on by my peers growing up too. I use to let it upset me. Now as I have gotten older and wiser; I look back and realize those people “did not matter”. They were ignorant. I feel sorry for them. They had so many insecurities themselves that they had to pick on others to make themselves feel better. So hang in there Candace and pray for them…..GOD sees all things.

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  6. Anna Nichols on

    Candace, I applaud your courage to wrote this. So many people are bullied throughout their time in school, and it takes real courage to talk about it. Your article was very well written and I personally think that everyone that has gone through this can relate. Thank you for your openness and bravery! Congratulations on finding your inner voice and finding who you are and are becoming!

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  7. Sabrina Carr on

    Candace is a wonderful, honest, trust-worthy friend that means the most to me. She has been by my side from the start when I also thought I was a nobody. She has helped me be a better person that I am today and am making better decisions in life because of her.

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  8. Kenzie Neel on

    That was beautiful, Candace. You did an incredible job on it. This was a message that needed to be said. Even I was bullied. And I’m homeschooled. My brother made me feel weak, inadequate, and there was nothing I could do. My parents tried stopping him, but couldn’t. Bullying is a problem that needs to be dealt with. And I’m proud of you for saying it.

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  9. Misti Simmons on

    Reading this made me go through so many emotions! You are such a beautiful soul, and set a good example! This article will help others going through the same thing, and hopefully find their voice too!

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  10. Sheila Hogan on

    I’ve seen you go through so much…so glad you made it and now have chosen to share your experiences and how you dealt with them. A very selfless thing to do so you can help others that may be experiencing similar situations. So proud of you.

    Reply
  11. Jerry Lee Hill on

    Wow, such am amazing article with so much truth in it. And yes I have to agree with Candace, she is changing and evolving from a high schoold girl into a cof identity well derived young lady and I am very proud to call her my great neice. She made a lot of truthful but yet hurtful statements from someone in her situation. But through time and maturity she had overcome.

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  12. Jerry Lee Hill on

    Wow, such am amazing article with so much truth in it. And yes I have to agree with Candace, she is changing and evolving from a high schoold girl into a confident well defined young lady and I am very proud to call her my great neice. But through time and maturity she has overcome.

    Reply
  13. Angela Lee on

    Such an article full of truth. Studies now show that effective anti-bully programs should focus on the role of the “Bystander.” Bullying stops in less than 10 seconds when someone intervenes on behalf of the victim. 
    Also, Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims. We need to be their voice and also the one who shows them that they do matter!!! May this article encourage others to speak out and to just love each other. There will be no railroad tracks in Heaven. We are all precious in His eyes. Great job Candace! May others find their inner voice from reading your story!

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  14. Katrina Spires on

    Bullying is NEVER ok! This saddens me, so much to read but is so beautifully written!
    Candace, your story, while filled with so much heartache, will give you such strength to overcome many things throughout your life…if you allow it to. My oldest 2 boys (both autistic) have been bullied on an almost daily basis to the point of physical altercations. Don’t let it steal your joy, sweetheart! May God continue to bless you and strength you!

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  15. Vickey Igou on

    That was amazing! I was one of those kids that got bullied in grade school and then as junior high came along because I didn’t fit in, I just stopped going. Sad what we allow other people to make us feel like! I think (I hope) you become stronger and like Candace said you find yourself you find your voice and in the end you come out a strong caring person with compassion

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  16. Connie on

    I really know how you feel, my son quit school for those reasons. He is big for his age and I was always asking him if anyone was picking on him. He would tell me no they are scared of me, but the truth be known I think they were. He started having stomach problems we went to 4 different Dr’s and I have a pharmacy at my house of his meds. Since quitting school he still is withdrawn from people, he is not a people person at all and I believe it is cause of that. I wish you the best and thank you for writing this to let people know the truth.

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  17. Missy Hill on

    Candace sweetheart! I have sat here & read this beautifully written article with tears literally rolling down my face. I even made my granddaughter Alanna sat & listen to me read it out loud. If there’s one thing I’ve taught her it’s that she is no better than anyone else & that if I ever find out she has picked on, made fun of or bullied someone in any kind of way that she will get the worst whooping she’s ever had. I can’t stand that! I’m so very proud of you! You are a shining star and an advicate for other children. God Bless You sweet girl & keep shining. LOVE MISSY HILL

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  18. Mae Golden on

    I’m speechless, this brought tears to my eyes baby girl. You have over come so much in your life, You have had to exspirence so many things that no young child should have to deal with. Life has thrown so many troubles and disasters your way but you Dodge it like a bullet. You cried then smiled fought then laughed you had such a rough child hood but never gave up! You have always been the “I’m gonna do this and I’m gonna do it right” you have always been head strong and wanted to help others. You had a voice you wanted to be hard and before you knew it it was herd by many. Baby girl you are an inspiration to not only me but everyone else around you. There is no telling how many people’s lives you have changed by taking a stand speaking out and not being afraid. I am such a proud momma of the young lady you are becoming and have already became. God really did bless me when he sent me you. I love it almost as much as I love you 💜💜 Continue making me proud baby and remember you voice NEEDS TO BE HEARD DON’T BACK DOWN STAND STRONG❤️

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  19. Katherine Moncrief on

    Absolutely inspiring story from a beautiful smart young lady. People don’t take bulling as serious as they should. Maybe more people will stand up and speak out like you did. Much love…😍😘

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  20. Barbara Lance on

    So beautiful Candace, I am so glad you found your voice. Kids can be so cruel. You have grown up to be a beautiful and lovely person and I am proud to call you my niece. Love you!!

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  21. Faye Vance on

    Candace, you have captured the thoughts and feelings of so many boys and girls in school today and past years. You did a beautiful job and I hope it will help at least some of those students that feel the same way. It’s a time of confusion while trying to find their own identity. It makes it so hard when peers can be so apathetic and mean. Your voice can definitely be a voice for others just like you said. This is a most heartfelt article and very well written.

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  22. Charlotte Marchant on

    Candace I am sure you have inspired others ……glad you found your voice to speak out….just remember that in Gods eyes everyone is beautiful and he loves everyone the same….

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  23. Heather Vance on

    Candace, I loved this! Just as many others stated, your voice can speak volumes for others! You are an eloquent writer! Keep up the good work. I look forward to see where this takes you. You are beautiful. You are talented. You are loved

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  24. Jeff Banks on

    Candace, I love this article. I’m so sorry for the things that have happened to you, but am happy to know that you’ve overcome this form of hate & have become the beautiful & smart lady you are.
    Hold your head up & be proud.

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  25. Teresa pitts on

    Candace this is awesome i was bullied myself in school im very proue of you may god be with you and remember you are an inspiration To everyone around you love you granny tereasa

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  26. John Hodge on

    I read miss golden’s article my inner voice was trapped within me as well because when I turned 12 I was over 6 foot tall and over 200lbs and believe it or not I was picked on too it was like they wanted to see if they could beat me and I tried to play the roll of a gentle giant everyday until the day I couldn’t take it anymore I started Crying and shaking and threw two of them let’s just say I was never picked on again that’s the day my inner voice was let out and my inner voice found peace. I wish no one was ever picked on again because a lot of teens result to suicide… I would stay up all night talking to someone contemplating it to talk them out of it

    Reply

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