“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey. I think it occurs most of the time that we listen so that we can say something back. It is like we reply others because being quite to us means that we don’t have any point left. We do not want to sound stupid in front of other people. I think this has something to do with the educational and also legal aspects. In school teachers encourage us to speak when they ask us questions. They want us to express our views. Also in legal matters whether we are suspect or witness we are to speak. Speaking means everything. In oral exams the more you speak the more you earn marks. There is nothing wrong with that. Hence sometimes people raise their voices instead of their opinion. The louder you shout the louder they will hear. That is how many people believe. It is a belief that people hold in centuries.
It is important to listen as much as we speak. It is literally the reason behind having two ears and one mouth. Listening helps us to know the views of the other part. Listening to the speaker shows that the listener cares. This is due to the fact that that sometimes other people tell us things or their dilemma to us only for us to listen. Sometimes it does not necessarily mean they want us to show that we listen and understand. We upset sometimes when we tell someone something and they do not listen. Bad listeners sometimes interrupt speakers every point without even asking a permission to do so.
In fact we are not supposed to overuse the privilege of listening. You can find someone listening a lot and forgetting to reply. It symbolizes rudeness to some people. Imagine going to a discussion and a certain person or member dominates the discussion, that he or she does not give other members the opportunity to speak. Also imagine being in a discussion in which you lead the discussion and none of the members speak. It is equally painful.
We must understand what is being said before we can reply. First we should consider the necessity of our reply, who is in the discussion and our understanding of the subject matter. These factors will help us whenever we speak. It also affects our choice of words when we speak. There is no point of speaking if others do not know what we are taking about; when the language is technical for them to comprehend. It is very important to balance between speaking and listening if all other factors remain constant. This will ensure the passing of information from point A to B. Also for point B to be able to give point A the feedback.
These are communication skills that everyone should have. It can be from personal level to the business level. It enables us to maintain a good communication with other people especially the customers. You may often hear people say, for example, I do not want to go to a certain shop only because a shopkeeper or salesperson is rude toward the customer, or even gives wrong orders. A good ear is a door toward success. Many successful people’s stories always talk about their ability to listen, especially for the instructions from those who do better than them. This gives them the ability of learning and developing. Listen so as to come up with a thoughtful opinion. That will help us make correct judgments on various matters.