Rush

By Victor Moses. Victor, 24, is a writer and musician from Danaturu, Nigeria. Please read his article and leave your thoughts and comments below. (*Shortlisted for the 2018 prize!)

The modern age, characterized with its ever-increasing speed and huge technological innovations, has influenced mankind to a great extent. From the African culture of gathering kids for moonlight tales at night, to the Asian custom of dining with extended family members at the table; the advent of technology has drastically altered the lifestyle of most people. They now enjoy solitude and even seethe with irritation at the slightest intrusion into their private quarters. It appears as though there has been a reprioritizing in man’s value system. The things man once cherished, the things that once mattered now hold no place of significance. The writer, from keen observation concurs with Stephen R. Covey that, “most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”.

Man is a social being whose heart craves for love, care and support. Social media, which is supposed to be the agent that connects humanity together, has only succeeded in bonding people superficially. The regular man in the 21st century has been starved of intimate love which can be derived from personal time spent with others and not just while having some delusional conversations on the internet. There has been a paradigm shift in the way a man perceives another. In ancient times, men sought to fully understand not just the words of another, but even the gestures. The present-day man has access to unlimited information on the internet and hence presumes ‘there is nothing new about this’ or ‘I have a fitting answer to this’. They fail to realize that the intent of communicating might not be to get a response, but to be listened to. Some psychology-related researches have revealed that the average man needs to know that he is accepted and well-perceived by the other and not just responded to. The Holy Book advises that “…we should be quick to listen, but slow to give a reply”. Man has two ears and one mouth, the logical reason is most likely so that he can listen more and talk less.

The pace at which the present age is moving has gotten people’s heels running after their feet. People no longer have time to assimilate what the other is saying. They just give their wishy-washy replies and move on to do the next thing on their to-do list. Busyness has apparently become the business of man. The typical man has perfunctorily reordered his priorities in such a way that he does not have room for “frivolities” – including listening to other people talk (especially about an issue that does not directly have an impact on them). The ostensible yardstick for determining the 21st century smart-fellow is by how many schedules he keeps. This has inevitably set man’s feet on the ‘Fast-Lane’. “There is no time to even check time,” has become the anthem of some people.

The virtue of patience seems to have lost its standing. Most people have now become self-centered, less caring and even unconcerned about the speaker’s feelings or emotions. Pride and close-mindedness seem to be the sole reason why some other people would never listen to understand others. They hold their opinion in such high esteem and expect everyone else to do so rather than they themselves striving to look from the standpoint of the speaker. Some inadvertently misconstrue the speaker’s statement while others go to the extreme of singling out a point and using it against the speaker. They fail to sum up the various activities involved while a speaker is communicating to them.

Talk is cheap, listening is not. It involves the conscious activity of giving maximum attention to someone, deciphering their words and gestures and finding out deep and implied meanings from their speech. Listening involves not just the ears but also the eyes, emotions and an understanding of the context in which the speaker speaks. Until when people’s value system changes and they realize how much boost their attention stands to give to another’s self-esteem, will they give room for listening to understand, rather than merely to reply. Theodore Roosevelt rightly observes: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

148 comments on “Rush

  1. Seun Oladele on

    This is reminder of how far we have fallen.. It’s amazing how two people will be in a room and find comfort in interacting with someone else over the phone than the person right in front of them. Thank you sir.. This is powerful.

    Reply
  2. Edward Olayemi on

    This writeup can only come from an in depth knowledge of the writer, more ink to your pen.
    Saying the truth truthfully is the theme, the arrangement of the points is amazing.
    Thanks

    Reply
  3. Solomon on

    We RUSH because everybody wants to be in charge without getting charged (motivated) by the realities of life. We tend to be moltivated by the happenings of life (practicals) without knowing it theory.
    We are so ignorant of how others feel as a result of our spoken and unspoken words.
    You have rightly spoken Victor Moses. More insight.

    Reply
  4. Debby felix on

    Wow….saddening but simply the truth…the 21st century needs people who are not just willing to identify the challenges but also be pace setters in providing solutions..m
    Thanks Victor this is worth thinking upon.

    Reply
  5. Dami Adeniyi on

    This article from the writer Victor Moses is a very common issue in the modern day society. I’m appreciative of how the writer not only highlights the reasons for the changes in Man’s value system but also strategic steps to takling their fall. Thanks a lot for this insightful article. God bless.

    Reply
  6. Akindahunsi Samson on

    Hmm! Food for the wise. No man wants to accept defeat, no one wants to feel guilty or to be blamed so there is this “defense” mechanism before the conversation starts. Just as the writer said, this skill called “listening” is not to be condemned but to be refined by different perception of another man’s ideology. (out of NONSENSE, there’s SENSE!)

    Reply
  7. Emmanuel Obagunwa on

    Technology is great and change humanity very fast as people tends to embrace it as an alarming rate. But we must not forget that it also have some gap we have to fill manually without relying completely on technology. The writer really nail the point. Good work

    Reply
  8. Dada Oreoluwa Rhoda on

    This generation communication skills(one on one talk, listening) are very low which is leading many people into depression or their early grave.

    Reply
  9. Bassey on

    Victor deserves commendation for his dexterity in artistically bringing us from a standpoint of “selfishness” to one of “empathy”. This is really an eye opener for me. Thank you

    Reply
  10. Moses Oladipupo on

    “Most People don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply” This is absolutely true.Its a wakeup call to our sleeping generation
    Wonderful job Victor

    Reply
  11. Popoola Michael on

    What a great article for the moment. Pay attention to listen because in doing this you are boosting someone’s self-esteem and serving as source of encouragement, motivation, inspiration and blessing. God bless your memory brother.

    Reply
  12. Solomon on

    Pride has succeeded in destroying most life by helping then to loose things they really needed we the hope that they av it already…. It a nice writeup bro n a good thoughtful insight, n I hope our society will take advantage of it…..

    Reply
  13. Winnie Brown on

    Rich write up Victor. This is a call to order. This part really got me thinking “Man has two ears and one mouth, the logical reason is most likely so that he can listen more and talk less”. Thanks

    Reply
  14. OLARINRE ABOSEDE on

    This is really a deep piece, exactly what’s going on in our contemporary society, we need to retrace our steps and find our root

    Reply
  15. Oyedepo Samuel Oluwatobi on

    Well written and articulated.

    The 21st century folks care less because the intent of communication has lost it place.

    It takes someone with great understanding to pen these issues down with the possible means of regenerating love amidst the political and cultural differences.

    Reply
  16. Blessing Simeon on

    Victor, this article is timely. Listening to understand is really an important skill that everyone needs to learn. I agree that we should really learn to speak less and listen more

    Reply
  17. Clifford Jonathan on

    Such great points you have stated Victor! The intents for listening really needs be worked upon if communication would be effective in the society.

    Reply
  18. Tolu Sanba on

    This part really caught my attention: “The ostensible yardstick for determining the 21st century smart-fellow is by how many schedules he keeps. This has inevitably set man’s feet on the ‘Fast-Lane’. “There is no time to even check time,” has become the anthem of some people.”

    Thank you for calming us down with this article.

    Reply
  19. Lee on

    Empathy seems to be lacking in the disposition of most people when they’re conversing as you have rightly opined. Thanks Victor

    Reply
  20. Jerry eTuk on

    Victor presents a very strong case in this piece. Listening shouldn’t be just to reply.. What’s the RUSH!!

    In his words : “We need to understand the context in which the speaker speaks”

    Reply
  21. Maksat Shaibu on

    The things man once cherished, the things that once mattered now hold no significance. Indeed “most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”.
    Thank you Victor. No truer words have been said

    Reply
  22. Makkie on

    “In ancient times, men sought to fully understand not just the words of another, but even the gestures.”

    A lot has changed in this present dispensation. We’re so RUSHing. We do need to take a pause and give attention to others. You strike a point

    Reply
  23. Gracie on

    Hmmmmm…
    Listening to reply.. Listening to understand..

    This is such a deep article. Our motive does matter and will to a great extent determine the outturn of the conversation.

    Reply
  24. Oba Wale on

    People are so deeply engrossed with the internet now. “The regular man in the 21st century has been starved of intimate love which can be derived from personal time spent with others and not just while having some delusional conversations on the internet”.

    We need to carve out space and spend “real” time with friends and families. Listening is key!

    Reply
  25. Osama on

    This article is timely and well conveyed. Take out time to listen attentively. It would sure boost someone’s morale. You’re absolutely right Victor

    Reply
  26. Benson Jephtha on

    “Busyness has apparently become the business of man”

    This above statement is STEW!
    Everyone’s so very busy and in such a RUSH they can’t even even spare time for a chat.

    Reply
  27. Editi Augustine on

    This is quite captivating and educating.The subject matter is one of contemporary issues that has invaded hitherto healthy socio-physical interactions.The fast penetration of social media has created enimity between man to man social relationship there by creating a society where human values system has become eluded and traded for remote often unrealistic behavior. Thanks for this useful insight.

    Reply
  28. Oluwakemi on

    We need to be patient enough in this time of ours, cos our hurry and ignorance has killed many, if not physically but emotionally….it’s a timely and very good write up, kudos to you bro.

    Reply
  29. Ezekiel Emmanuel udo on

    Wonderful!! Listening is vital for effective communication to take place. We need to learn to listen for understanding rather than merely to showcase our knowledge bank.
    Listening to understand is not suggestive of lack of knowledge, it shows maturity.

    I love this article

    Reply
  30. Magoro Fanny on

    You drive home some amazing points. We have two ears so we can listen more and one mouth so we can talk less.

    Learning does not really take place whenever we’re talking, but it does whenever we’re listening. I’ll rather listen and learn than talk and waste.

    Thanks Victor. This is imperative.

    Reply
  31. Sameera on

    Its an amazing write up! I honestly miss having one on one meaningful conversations these days. Where one can appreciate facial expressions instead of smileys.🤨😁
    Keep up the good work dear.

    Reply
  32. Victor Moses on

    I must state that I am astounded at the number of comments we have here. Thanks friends for taking out time to like and comment. Please encourage other friends and families to check this article out.

    Thanks!

    Reply
  33. Oluwadamilola on

    “The present-day man has access to unlimited information on the internet and hence presumes ‘there is nothing new about this’ or ‘I have a fitting answer to this’. They fail to realize that the intent of communicating might not be to get a response, but to be listened to.”

    This really struck me!
    Everyone knows everything today

    Reply
  34. Mohammed Atibu on

    Whoa Whoa Whoa… This is resourceful.

    Let’s listen.. It boosts other people’s self-esteem. Too much depression every where. Your attention might save a life

    Reply
  35. Emmanuel Francis on

    RUSH.. RUSH.. RUSH..

    I had to calm down after reading this article. I was in such a rush to just go through this piece like I have done every other.

    I am better.. Thanks to you man

    Reply
  36. afolayan victor on

    Wow …. What an outstanding write up…
    It high time we hold our culture dare to our heart, communicate with our community directly rather than our fake personality on social media.

    Reply
  37. Emmanuel Sadoh on

    I love the artistic manner this piece is written. You delved into the intricacies of communication subtlely and somehow managed to pull at my heartstrings. This article will resonate in my heart’s mind for a very long time to come.

    Reply
  38. Bashir Modu on

    Rush…….

    Uhmmm..

    As much as we want to meet up with our goals and targets. We should learn to live life one step at a time. We should enjoy the joys that comes in intimate conversations with friends and families.

    This is timely

    Reply
  39. Abdullahi Abubakar on

    I totally agree with this article.

    Giving people attention; listening carefully for what they have to say is sign of respect and honour. I think everyone deserves some respect. Thanks for reminding me of this need.

    Reply
  40. Janet Asher Sambo on

    Victor.. This is really deep. The simplistic approach you employed got me. The article is so simple yet carries such a heavy weight. Listening is crucial.

    Reply
  41. Hannatu Daniel on

    Talk is cheap.. Listening is not. It is “hardwork”, really. I’ve learnt a greal deal from this. I’ll start putting in the hardwork that listening requires.
    Thanks for writing this

    Reply
  42. Chinomso Grace on

    We need to reprioritize our value system. We now walk around with “warped” ideologies. We believe our stance is the best and we neglect the opinion of others. We are so self centered and unconcerned about the feelings of others and that is why we fail to listen attentively.

    Reply
  43. Erhaze Ramson on

    Talking involves the conscious activity of giving maximum attention to someone, deciphering their words and gestures. It is hard work. Hard work is a virtue that is losing its standing. We need to consciously pay attention to people

    Reply
  44. Duke David on

    Listening.. It is vital. Our intent for listening should be kept in check at all times. The motive determines the eventual outcome of the conversation

    Reply
  45. Idara Akpan on

    This is spectacular. Humans are interactive beings who cant live in isolation. Denying the need for communication is denying an integral part of our daily lives. We should give listening priority. Relationship is everything.

    Reply
  46. Sola Kayode Emmanuel on

    Listening is essential for communication to take place fully. There’s no point talking if there’s no one to listen. The writer has made some shocking revelations on the gains on listening. I’ll be more empathetic.

    Reply
  47. Emmy on

    Every human craves for love, care and attention. We need to stop the unnecessary rush social media has forced on us. Let us not neglect the value of spending quality time with people. It builds mutualism.

    Reply
  48. Adedokun Abiodun on

    How i wished this write up is published not only in all African jornals but the world at large for people to see beyond ordinary the values, belives and possitve traditions that ‘re almost gone into extintion in our lands. Victor, you have in no small measure open the eyes of your readers to go back to the drawing board and do the needful. May God bless you the more in wisdom & understanding.

    Reply
  49. Joshua Roberts on

    This article is aptly written. The writer delved deeply into my soul and pulled at my heartstrings.. This is a present-day issue that has eaten deep into the very fabric of the society. We have lost value for our culture. We RUSH so much we don’t have time to spare to even LISTEN to others..
    Victor, you’ve opened my eyes to the significance of giving room for others to express themselves in a whole new dimension.

    Reply
  50. Siata Ryeipeng Boss on

    Listening is a very important part of our daily lives. Growing.. Learning.. Working.. Everything requires our rapt attention. This is needed at this time.

    Reply
  51. Nicol Janet on

    You were not chauvinistic, You were not opinionated. You objectively presented your views in such a way that allowed for critical thinking and decision-making. You’re such an awesome writer.

    Reply
  52. Lizziec on

    This is such a wonderful piece. The title’s so captivating – RUSH. The content met the expectation built up in me by the topic. Indeed, listening is not cheap.

    Reply
  53. Olajide Ajibade on

    Communication, its importance cannot be overemphasized. But really how many of us can do without our phones? You won’t realize it influence on you until go see a friend who keeps pressing his phone during conversation. We’re all needed to be schooled again the basics of communication

    Reply
  54. Promise on

    I don’t really have much to say but I think this is a very important reminder that communication has really improved and is causing problems making people lazy and it also make things easier as well. Nice right up .

    Reply
  55. Parah on

    This is absolutely on-point. We need overhauling. Most people have missed it in the place of listening to learn. We really need to take a pause – no RUSH!

    Reply
  56. Charity Yakubu on

    The framework that this work takes is really commendable. The title caught my attention. The article simply stated the points in a very captivating way. Listening is vital to our everyday living.

    Reply
  57. Vickkie on

    Man has two ears and one mouth, the logical reason is to talk less and listen more.. So captivating and religiously true

    Listening is most important part of communication . it is absurd that people today RUSH into so many sensitive things.

    The first day I read this article, I was RUSHing, but then the contents made me wanna read it everyday.. Such a great inspiration!

    I so wish that this article be published for others to learn and retrace their part in the real communication.
    So that we would stop the RUSH

    Reply
  58. Victoria oladipupo on

    Rush.. Rush.. Rush
    I’ll say this is a revelation of the truth about communication.
    Talking is cheap, listening isn’t. Its a simple logic.
    Thanks for writing this victor.

    I’ll listen more..

    Reply

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