Whenever I stand in the front of mirror, so many questions start appearing. I’ve almost solved every one, but two words leave me in a very difficult situation. Only these two words create puzzles. I have tried, but found that without solving them, I cannot proceed. If this was the case, then how could I make a journey of life?
These words are who and what.
Who am I? What am I? Which one should I address first? Every time I win or lose, do they hold both of my hands? I was born a girl, and scientists categorized me in the kingdom of animalia as phylum mammalian, based on my characteristics: hair on my body, mammary glands to feed babies, limbs to walk and grab food. But what about soul, feeling, emotions, pain? Do animals without mammary glands not love their kids? And do they not die?
If I meet a king and ask “who are you?” he will say “I am a king.” If I ask “what are you?” he will answer “I am a ruler who rules a kingdom.” If I put the same question to a beggar, a doctor and a criminal, they will reply, “I am a beggar, a person without money”; “I am a Doctor who gives treatment to patients”; “I am a criminal, who kills people.” Who is the one making the assertion; what is the reason; who is the topic; and what gives you the definition?
“Who” takes you to “what”. If we accept the answer to “what?”, we will be the same person, and can then accept the reality of ourselves.
Do I really feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am? Only, the question will always be the same: I started the circle of journey and I end in the circle, and only the answer will be different. It is the time, situation and moment that makes you someone that you were not in the beginning.
A few months earlier, one of my friends started telling me her story. Two weeks before, her family decided to send her to London to fulfil her dream and passion: she wanted to learn dance and music. She was so happy she could not refuse parties, wine, pizza, burgers; she shopped, bought heels and found a new yoga suite which advertised that she could get the perfect body shape, like a model. She had every opportunity in life. She is from a rich family, well educated, has non-conservative thoughts and has no difficulties getting any admission or job. In that party another friend, who belongs to a religious family and society came along. They asked so many questions about marrying a girl.
An hour later, she was lying on the ground covered in blood, with scratches on her neck, bites on her shoulders, cigarette burns on her lips. These things that happened without her willing made her a victim. She was a beautiful and talented girl. Now, she has a new definition. What is she now? A victim. A body without soul, wordless tongue, sense organs without emotions. Who gave permission to destroy her life? It is only him, until the person would stand for himself, because nothing or no one could make them stand.
In another instance, a girl had lost her virginity. No one will ask the question because in biological terms, the rupturing of the hymen is not an indication of loss of virginity. Things happened with her willing, the situation was the same. She is still what she was. A girl.
A person is victim only if they accept it. If we take the courage to accept the reality to challenge the negativity, then we do not need to change the definition; we even have the ability to erase the definition.
If a player, a student, an actor, a businessman would never lose, how could they know what inappropriate reasons there were stopping or hindering their journey?
Mahatma Gandhi would never have thought that he would be known as the “Father of a Nation” (India). He was just a normal husband taking care of his wife; a father looking after his children. When a white man threw him from the train, his ambition changed from parenting his own children to guiding the Indian people, to destroying the untouchability and making India independent from British rule.
When black people were refused the right to touch, sit, or talk with white people in America, the situation turned Martin Luther King from a black person to a patriot, to see a dream and say “I have a dream”.
With Nelson Mandela, being a black man gave him a chance to join the banned “South African Communist Party” in order to end the apartheid system of racial segregation that privileged whitish.
Adolf Hitler, known as evil, was influenced by nationalism to become Nazi. He started creating a country without Jewish people and non-Germans.
What you are connects you to the what you are going to become in life, that you were not in the beginning.