Know Your Why, What, and How

By Blessing Bossman. Blessing, 21, is from Warri City, Nigeria. Please read her article and leave your thoughts and comments below.

Why? A perplexing question we keep asking ourselves each day. As we grow and mature our ‘why’s increase and this brings a burden to our minds if they are not answered. I remember being young I had a lot of ‘why’s, I was always asking people everywhere I go “why this?” and “why that?”. So many questions ran through my mind that I couldn’t put meaning to. As I grew, I got answers to those questions but in those answers lie hidden and more complex questions that I try to answer each day.

One of them which happens to be “why am I here on earth?” We are all curious about the reason for our existence, without our ‘why’, how can we get to do that which we were created for. The most successful companies today have a ‘why’ and this vision and belief system keeps people glued to them. Everything we do, we say, we create, has a reason and that is our ‘why’.

Our ‘why’ may not be clear at first but along the line, we get to discover what we are and work with it.

So I would paraphrase Michel by saying “you do not know who or exactly what you are at the beginning of your journey but as you go through life, your main interest becomes finding yourself and becoming that which you were meant to be.”

Life is a puzzle, each day I find myself trying to figure out which part of me fits in perfectly while the rest of my parts are scattered around me as I search for it. Which part of me goes into the board of squares?

Life is like fast cars and horses running marathons, journeying each day into the unknown, diverting at the driver’s control. It contains answers which are found in mystery. The more you get answers to a question the more you get confused about the answer that question brings to you.

If life is a mystery to be unravelled then what am I or who am I? If what I am is still a mystery with different answers and definitions, if it is a body of different rules: what to do, 10 ways to do, how to do, ways to do, why you should do, etc…

If life has all the wh-word questions trying to find itself, then I’m just a passenger trying to give my own definition to this mystery before me, trying to solve my own puzzle. Who is the passenger in the mystery trying to figure out the puzzle?

I have always wanted to become a journalist. Everywhere I went everyone knew I talked a lot and when they asked what I wanted to become when I grew up, I would say a journalist.

It seemed like I had already figured my life out and things were going to be so sweet for me. A young smart girl who already knows what she is and would become, I thought I had it covered at that age. What surprised me most was that the more I tried to find me the more I lost me.

The more I tried to define me the more undefined I became. This was as a result of the places I searched for myself. I searched for meaning in meaningless places. I searched for meaning in other paths. I typed on Google “How can I find myself? Who am I? What am I here to do?”

And then a man named Michel said “I don’t feel it’s necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning.” He thinks its best I just work and become whoever I wasn’t in the beginning. He believes I shouldn’t know who I am and be whoever I want to be.

I actually trailed through this path. I stopped searching for me and stopped defining me. I felt free, I became freer. Being someone who I wasn’t, in the beginning, was fun for me. I let go and just let life entice me with whatever it had to offer. I sat on a long couch and allowed myself to be carried away by the movie called life.

I have never been to the club but I clubbed like I was born in the club. I smoked my lungs out until my body became a chimney. Yes, I actually went out on lots of dates. I became who I wasn’t in the beginning. I forgot who I was and lived to become whoever and whatever presented itself to me. But I wasn’t happy, how can I not be happy?

If the very essence of my life according to Michel is to be whoever I wasn’t in the beginning then why am I still not happy. The voices in my head kept on screaming, screeching loudly till my head felt like a time bomb ready to explode. No!!!!!!!!!!

I stopped at the crossroad, I threw my smoke and sat thinking. I need to find me. I can’t walk around living like I am here all by myself and become whatever Jack and Thomas want me to be. Tired of clubbing with Rita and Jane. I need to find myself again. This time I need to find it in the right places. Life was never meant to be lived with no identity. Even animals have an identity. “Who am I?” I shouted. Just then I remembered I wasn’t here all by myself. I realized I had a mother and I went back to my mother and asked, “Mama who am I?”

Mama said “daughter, you are mine but then we all belong to someone, He’s our creator.” Mama told me about the one who created me and gave me an identity. I searched for Him, I read through His books and I found out that He created me for a purpose. He gave me an identity, a new name, a new spirit, and a new life. He gave me a purpose for his glory. Today I stand to tell Michel “There is you and you need to come into that reality. You need to know what He says about you and become what He says. I have found me in Him, so should you.”

Life is not a place where you let it define you and become whatever it throws at you. Life is meant to be lived for His glory and purpose. You become what your creator has created you for. Not an easy journey but a worthy journey that brings happiness and peace. Enough of living to become what we weren’t in the beginning – start living for the purpose of creation.

We must discover who we are and why we are here. Without our ‘why’ how can we get to do that which we were created for. Don’t just work to become who you weren’t in the beginning but work to become that which you were made for, by first discovering what you are.

27 comments on “Know Your Why, What, and How

  1. Gloria bossman on

    “Life is not a place where you let it define you and you become whatever it throws at you” nice words I love it .keep it up dear.

  2. Mfon Akpan Gift on

    It’s a Beautiful Piece that left my thinking but then in my journey to self discovery I’d come to realize that life is a journey and what we make of it is as a result of our actions so that’s why we should be very optimistic about it and also believe in ourselves; our passion, goals and visions.

    I’d had dreams lots of it and also I’d set goals for myself with success rates. Although I embarked on this journey of self discovery at a very young age but this could only be possible as a result of coming out of a fortunate home and next becoming even so unfortunate.

    If you find yourself in such shoe especially in a country like Nigeria just don’t kill yourself because there are a lot like you out there who’s also wandering like a lost soul into life’s oblivion.

    Yet I get ground breaking ideas but just when am about to strike or execute them there financial challenge storms in with thoughts like; What if this, what if that? Leaving me with deep thoughts about life’s mysteries. I’d had thoughts that left me almost reclusive of which I ended up lone (enjoying my own companies) tagged; Minding My Business.

    Have you ever had life figured out like a movie planned and then when you get to finish you realize another story opens up? The more deeper I go in it the more ambiguous it seem.

    Then I won’t complain but to set out on another journey because I know that there are a lot like me out there, who are also going through same situation. But in the end I am not giving up neither will I stop believing in myself.

    And please, I would love to get opinions from this one;
    How do you manage a dream people doubt or see as too big for you? Have you ever experienced this? And later resolved to being over ambitious?
    Let’s share our views as it could help someone out there.

  3. Sylvester uchechukwu on

    Beautiful piece….one thing I’ve come to realize is that “ life is a journey, celebrate your little achievements everyday


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