The Contender Blues

By Kevin Nichols. Kevin, 47, is a music blogger, freelance writer and bibliophile. He lives in Bowling Green, USA. Please read his article and leave your thoughts and comments below.

Each individual the competes in a race is focused on keeping a tempo. No matter what our social demographic may be, our jobs, neighborhoods, education levels, and smartphones give us a sense of position. Idyllically, these names, brands, and titles are how we present ourselves and our self-regard to society. Society itself gets comfortable in seeing and keeping us in those stigmas. Eventually, we either remain at that seemingly comfortable place that we are in society or desperately malcontent. Regardless, every year of your life you should discover a new characteristic of you.

To become someone that you were not, in the beginning, takes change. Most people do not initiate change because innately we are creatures of habit. Habits keep us in a routine, keeps our psyches comfortable, and our minds on autopilot. Not everyone is a go-getter or has an unfulfilled nature. A person with a stir-crazy personality is not going to be satisfied being in a drab routine or environment. The people with this personality trait will outgrow those perimeters. Their desire will want them to be and grow in an environment with like-minded people to contribute to a similar habitat.

Entrepreneur Patrick Bed-David wrote, ‘There are four things that cause people to change: intentional reasons, natural reasons, life-changing events, and force.’ Intentional reasons are the personal choices that we make. Natural reasons are knowing that either positively or negatively, we are not going to be the same person ten years from now. Life-changing events or life-altering experiences are either intentional or unexpected. Consequently, they change the trajectory of a course we were traveling in life. Force is the most painful occurrence because it does not leave us with clear options of choice. It is an inevitable change and we are forced to make critical adjustments (Bed-David).

There is no quick fix in becoming someone else, but there is quickness when we are forced to see that we have to change. Author Kent Crockett wrote, ‘There are two reasons why people change–they either feel the heat or see the light. Feeling the heat forces us to change. Seeing the light inspires us to change.’ The loss of a loved one, job loss, and health issues are pressures that add to life’s adversity. If we see someone alter their physical appearance after months of proper dieting and exercise, then they have placed a light to follow. A life-changing event causes instant heat, which forces us to change. An inspirational light through a person, circumstance, or event supplies fuel for people with unfulfilled nature.

We are always going to be evolving and becoming someone else through change. We can make decisions on what we want to change, learn, and experience. These individual choices begin the process of our daily transformations. What must remain consistent is the time and effort that we put into these choices.

Author James Clear wrote, ‘On average, it takes more than two months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally’s study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit. In other words, if you want to set your expectations appropriately, the truth is that it will probably take you anywhere from two months to eight months to build a new behavior into your life — not 21 days.’ If we make the choices and put in the time and effort, the habit will be formed. Once the habit is formed, you have developed something new in you (Clear).

If you don’t know who you are, there’s pain. However, becoming someone else, there’s pain in that too. There is no glamour in pain and no way around it. Life consists of different seasons and most of the time, they will have adversity. Being in a difficult life season is the transition we pass through until the good one arrives. Transitioning from one season in life to another always involves personal growth. Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “What we face may look insurmountable. But I learned something from all those years of training and competing. I learned something from all those sets and reps when I didn’t think I could lift another ounce of weight. What I learned is that we are always stronger than we know (Nikolov).” When we expect adversity without reservation, then we are anticipating personal growth.

Change is scary. The memories and comfortableness of what gets left behind leave us with that repugnant residuum. Yvette (Vet) was a young woman, colleague, and friend whom we both shared sociable personalities. One summer she and a couple of other ladies I worked with all had gastric bypass surgery. Vet embraced the follow-up regimen of consistent exercise and dieting. She went from near obesity to having an hourglass figure within a year after the procedure. I asked her, “What’s it like looking in the mirror being a new person.” She said, “It’s scary and hard to understand sometimes because when I see the way men react to me now, I remember what it was like before.” She kept a picture in her purse of how she looked before the procedure.

Being willing to embark on discovering new characteristics and accepting adversity breaks us out of old routines (habits). Schwarzenegger said, “The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that (Nikolov).” We all have different personalities, food predilections, along with social and residential customs that give us comfort. You may not be desperately malcontent and avoid social deviance like a day without texting. Whatever your comfort zone is, just know that there are other grand aspects of you waiting to be unleashed.

Works Cited:

Bet-David, Patrick. “What Causes People to Change?” Causes-People-Change, PATRICKBETDAVID.COM, Accessed 10 Oct. 2019.

Crockett, Kent. “Change.” Sermon Illustrations, Quotes, Stories and Analogies by Kent Crockett, Accessed 11 Oct. 2019.

Clear, James. “How Long Does It Take to Form a Habit? Backed by Science.” James Clear, 13 July 2018, Accessed 11 Oct. 2019.

Nikolov, Cris. “30 Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes?”

Inspire You to Never Surrender.” MotivationGrid, 12 Nov. 2017,

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